


Road to Recovery

by freelostboy



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Marriage Proposal, Mild Smut, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 18:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12114288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freelostboy/pseuds/freelostboy
Summary: Alex's drinking problem throughout the years.





	Road to Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline is a little bit off to fit the direction I wanted to go with this.   
> Personally, I don't believe she has a drinking problem, this is just a drawn out headcannon.   
> Drop some comments, let me know what you think!

The first time Alex Danvers had a drink was when she was 22 years old. Not just any drink, but an alcoholic drink. 

A test in grad school gone awry, a heated phone call with her mother, and then a late night visit to a dive bar just off of campus. 

A nice looking guy sidled up to her after a few minutes of awkwardly standing at the bar. 

She didn't really know what drew her to the bar in the first place, but he offered her a drink, and she said yes. 

The taste of tequila sloshed over her taste buds, and the sting of liquid made its way down her throat. The burn was unforgettable and it was tangible and it made her focus on something other than her failures, so she had another. 

****

Alex Danvers was 24 years old when she blacked out for the first time. 

The room was spinning and she didn't know which way was up or down or left or right. Music was pumping and lights were flashing and the smell of alcohol was overwhelming. 

A man had been flirting with her all night and she had danced with him. 

The attention, the familiar burn of alcohol down her throat, and the forgetting led her to follow him when he beckoned her forward. 

He pulled her into the bathroom. Was it the one to the right? The left? She didn't know, she honestly couldn't tell. All she could register was calloused hands ripping her shirt and a foot nudging her legs apart. 

She woke up a few minutes later and her head spun. Her shirt was tore open and hanging loosely . Her pants were unbuttoned, and she didn't remember a thing. 

She smiled. 

****

The first time Alex Danvers almost died was when she was 25 years old. She had gotten home from the club at 4 AM. She had promised Kara she would call her at 6 AM to wake her up for her first day at her new job. 

She never called. 

Kara woke up late and saw the alarm clock. After a few muttered obscenities she was calling Alex. 

No answer. 

She closed her eyes and let her ears train on one sound she knew best, Alex's heartbeat. 

She couldn't find it. 

She panicked. 

Until she heard a thump. 

She waited. 

What seemed like ages later, another thump. 

She waited. 

Nothing. 

She didn't care if people saw her flying. She crashed onto Alex's balcony and the door unhinged at the force she slammed it open with. 

She found Alex on the floor, face up. Her pale skin was a dangerous blue, her lungs were barely sucking in air 5 times a minute. Her eyes were bloodshot and red, with tears gathered in the corners. 

Alex woke up in the hospital. 

They said it was a close call. 

Kara's worried stare, worried questions, worried pacing. 

It was an accident.

She was fine. 

Everything was fine. 

****

The first time Alex was arrested was on her 26th birthday. 

The alcohol hasn't consumed her enough to pass out, to black out, to poison herself. 

It had her stumbling to her car at 2:30 AM when the bartender had forcefully kicked her out at closing. 

Her keys rattled in her hands as she tried to open her car door. Then she heard the sirens. 

In a cell, her head hung between her knees. Feelings of sickness wracked her body from the alcohol and for the sheer fact she was stupid enough to get arrested. 

And then a man named Hank found her. He knew her sister was special and he knew her father before he was killed. He told her she was important. That she was special. That she had a life worth living and she couldn't afford to throw it down the drain. That he needed her. 

So he offered her a job at the DEO, working with extraterrestrial cases and beings and she accepted. 

She started training the next day. Her body was beaten and broken down and then built back up, as was her mind. She had given up a medical career for the job but then Hank had surprised her with her own lab. 

She didn't have time to drink when she got home every day. 12 hours a day of ruthless training makes a person tired. Training, crashing, repeat. 

After her training was completed, she was second in command only to Hank himself. Alpha team leader, a respected agent that people feared, yet admired. People answered to Hank and Alex. It made her proud. She still hadn't had a drop to drink. 

**** 

She was almost 27 when she took her first life on a field op. He was a wanted, dangerous man and he had aimed his weapon at one of her agents. She jumped in front of him and fired her weapon, but not before he shot a round off that grazed her arm. 

The op was a success, but the man was dead. His blood was on her hands. 

When they got back to base, she went to her lab, she stitched herself up, and she poured three fingers of bourbon and she drank. 

She poured another. 

And another. 

And then she went to sleep with her head on her desk by her favorite microscope, with the familiar fuzz clouding her mind and the burn in her throat. 

And that's what she did every time she felt guilty, every time she felt responsible, every time she failed. She drank and then she slept just to wake up and do it all over again. 

****

When Alex Danvers was 28 years old, she met Maggie Sawyer at the crime scene where the President was almost killed. A cop; a detective, for the NCPD. She challenged Alex over the jurisdiction. Alex flashed her fake FBI badge and Maggie had nodded and bid a farewell. 

But Alex didn't stop thinking about the way her eyes sparkled, or the way her dimples were on display. She didn't stop thinking about the shiny black hair perfectly placed behind one ear, and hanging freely in front of the other. She didn't stop thinking about her leather jacket, or the way her leg muscles were sculpted through her jeans. She never stopped thinking about her. 

So when they became friends, and they went for drinks and played pool and made stupid bets, she started to question. She questioned why she never stopped thinking about her. Or why she thought she was so indescribably beautiful. And then she found out that Maggie was gay. And later Maggie had accused her of liking girls and Alex had denied, denied, denied. 

Because no, she couldn't like girls. It's not what her mom would want or what Jeremiah would have wanted if he was still alive. Or what Kara would expect from her sister. She had dated men, even though she doesn't date anymore, she would never date a woman. 

But she still couldn't get her out of her head. So she went to Maggie and confessed that her suspicions might be true. The detective told her to come out to her family; and she did. She told Kara. She told Kara because Maggie had promised her a drink if she told Kara. 

She told Kara, and Kara was supportive. And Maggie was so proud, and Maggie hugged her and turned to go get her a drink when they were at the bar that night. Before she could walk away, Alex had grabbed her. 

Alex had grabbed Maggie and pulled her closer and kissed her. It felt so good, and it felt right. It felt like sparks were illuminating off of their lips. And Maggie had kissed her back and cupped her elbow as Alex cupped her face. 

But Maggie pulled away. Maggie told her that everything was new and shiny for Alex and that they were in different places. That fresh off the boat relationships never work out anyways. 

Alex had smiled and swallowed her tears and her pain and she left with Maggie calling after her. 

She drank until she threw up that night. And when she woke up the next morning, she drank again. 

****

She avoided Maggie like the plague and she drank herself to sleep every night. The familiar throbbing of her head in the morning was a comfort. Maggie tried to remain friends and Alex had told her how she felt. That the hurt, the pain, she was enduring was not worth it. That she came out because she was so sure of her feelings for Maggie. And now? The rejection doesn't make her feel liberated. It doesn't make her feel like she's on a great journey through finding herself. She feels pain, because Maggie doesn't want her. 

Maggie showed up at Kara's later that night to find Alex. She had said that she couldn't imagine her life without Alex in it. Alex cautiously accepted her apology. She drank water that night. 

****

Days later, Maggie had been hurt. And Alex had been there to stitch up the wound. They went their separate ways with promises to talk soon.   
That night, Maggie showed up at Alex's door with pizza and beer. 

Alex opened the pizza box and the beers and She could tell Maggie had something on her mind. 

And that night ended with Maggie saying we should be who we are and we should kiss the girls that we want to kiss. And I really just...I-I wanna kiss you.

She surged forward in a blur and her hands cupped Alex's face and her fingers threaded through her hair and their lips met. 

It was electric. 

And Alex knew she was in love. And she had been from the moment she saw her at that crime scene. 

So they stayed together. From that day forward, they were each other's. They protected each other, and listened to each other. They were each other's ride or die. 

****

Over time, Maggie had noticed Alex's drinking habits.   
After a particularly bad mission, a phone call with her mother, or even a miscommunication between the two of them. 

After Maggie realized that Kara was Supergirl, she understood Alex's need to be perfect and why she punished herself so harshly. She just wanted to keep up. 

But she was always there for Alex. Always drawing away the bottle from nimble fingers and kissing her soundly and letting her know how amazing she was. And Alex did the same for her. 

****

Eventually, Maggie carefully brought up the subject. Alex had gotten angry and denied her drinking habits until Maggie pulled her to her chest and she broke. Sobs wracked her body and raw sounds were ripped from her through. Maggie shushed her and told her she was perfect and that together, they would get through it. 

And Maggie was grateful that Alex trusted her enough to tell her when she was struggling. She always told Maggie when she wanted a drink and Maggie always provided a response, a comforting word, an encouragement. Eventually, the excessive drinking stopped. 

**** 

So now, it was wine on some nights when they wanted to feel classy. 

Some nights, it was a few beers while watching Netflix. 

Some nights, they went out on the town and came home stumbling together, but in happiness and in love, not in self destruction. 

Now, it was sex with a slight buzz and coherent thoughts. It was wet sounds filling the room and moans bouncing along the walls. It was god, you're so wet for me Alex, you're such a good girl. Now it was fuck Maggie, you feel so good. 

Because Alex knew that they would never take advantage of each other. And she could feel everything now. She could feel every inch of Maggie's skin and every thrust of Maggie's fingers inside of her. And she could feel every orgasm wash over her body. When they woke up tangled in each other the next morning, she remembered everything. 

She smiled. 

****

They had beer the night they moved into their new apartment together. 

They laughed and they drank and then they fell into bed exhausted after a long day of moving. 

They never kept alcohol in the house. If they wanted it, they went and got just enough for the occasion, making sure to never overstock. 

****

When they said I love you for the first time, it was after Alex was kidnapped and almost drowned. So they went home and they laid in bed and they laughed and cried and clung to each other tightly. They were too drunk on each other to need anything more. 

****

Alex was never one for hesitation, so she proposed in the form of a split second decision. Kara had told her to never let Maggie go and she realized how much she needed Maggie by her side. It wasn't so much codependency, as it was unconditional love and support. 

So Kara said not to let her go and she proposed to Maggie without a ring and Maggie smiled and cried and screamed yes. Alex apologized for not having a ring ready but Maggie really couldn't care less. They went ring shopping the next day and picked out beautiful, yet simple rings for each other. 

****

The day they married was the most magical moment of both of their lives. J'onn walked them both down the aisle. Kara, Winn, James, and Lucy all stood next to them as their "bridesmaids", and cried and laughed and clung to each other throughout the ceremony. 

At the reception, each with a glass of wine in hand, Maggie and Alex vowed to love each other always. To always communicate, to love, to put forth every ounce of effort. 

And with a final toast from the newlyweds, they drank. 

"To forever, Danvers." 

"Forever, Sawyer."


End file.
